"Time"

Since nothing really exciting happened yesterday for my to write about, I'm just going to put in my blog for the first time ever something that I've written. It's neither a poem nor a short story, which is what I usually write. This one is just a passage. I wrote it in December of 2003, so I was 14 years old and a freshman in high school.

Time

Time makes you realize things that are and things that have never been. I've come to the conclusion that time is just a way to kill, a natural way of murder. When I say "I don't like right now," I'm not saying "I want to get older," I'm not saying "I want to go back," I just want things to get better. I want to see a change..a difference..nothing emotionally is based on time, not love or pride or regret - those come when it's destined to happen. Dwelling on the past, and looking to the future - those have been my downfalls. So why bother with either? Why bother with any? Let's just live plain and simple; no complications, no dates, no appointments. Just live for pure emotion and don't worry about anything, 'cuz in the end it will figure itself out and time will get stuck in there just to piss you off, so ignore it.


^^I look back at it now and wonder what the heck was going through my head at that time?? But that's the beauty of it. That's art. I could have changed it around a little bit before putting it on my blog, just so it would make sense. But that would change my 14 year old mind and like I said, I don't want to go back. I don't want to ruin it's authenticity.

Today I'm going apartment shopping with Kalie and the children. I'm hoping to find a good one - it's evident that we need to move! I think we're just going to pay the [way too huge of a] fee and break the lease. It'll make us break even come May, our scheduled "end of lease" date, and be well worth it in the long haul.