Where do I even begin? The past 13 days have been pretty rough for me. I have never lost anyone as close to me as Natalie, so it is hitting me hard. Though, losing someone is never easy.
Natalie was such a fun-loving, kind, hilarious, and inspirational young woman. Back when we lived in the same neighborhood (1998-2002), we pretty much ruled that place together. If there was ever anything going on, Natalie and I were right there for it. We both lived in cul de sacs, so nearly every day we would have kickball games. Most of the elementary & middle school kids that were into sports would join in our fun. Usually, Natalie would be the captain of one team and I would be the captain of the other, to try to keep things fair. Every once in a while, we would team up and say, "Okay - it's all of y'all against the two of us. Good luck!" They never stood a chance. ;)
I remember swimming at her house, but we usually only did that when there was a party or a lot of people over - she didn't very much like to swim. We would play video games, go roller blading, play street hockey, and sing and dance like there was no tomorrow, just to name a few. We often went to Braves (baseball) games together back in those days. One time at the game, we convinced our fathers to get us matching engraved baseball bats with each of our names on it. Ironic that I just found that bat a few weeks ago after all these years. Natalie's bat still sits in her room.
Lexi, Erica, Paige (friend), Natalie, Me
In 2000, we went to an N'SYNC concert together for her birthday. I remember that we made a giant poster that said in huge letters "JC I
♥ YOU!" and, since my dad was significantly taller than both of us, we made him hold it up throughout the entire concert in hopes that we would catch their eye. I am sure he was thrilled about that, haha!
Natalie's step-sisters (Lauren and Lexi, twins, only five months older than Nat) spent most of the time at their mom's place, but every once in a while I would be lucky enough to see them as well. They were a lot like Natalie in that they liked sports and were pretty competitive! I remember they brought a bit more "girlyness" to the group, but we all got along famously, as well as my little brother Colton, who was just six months older than the twins, but all four of them were in the same grade.
As time went on, our age difference became more apparent. We started seeing each other less and less, usually only when our whole families would get together. My dad has remained very close with Natalie's mom and step-dad, Janet and Bill (in fact, they are my little sister Madison's godparents). So in the days when I was no longer her best friend, she was still like a sister to me and seeing her was always so much fun and such a pleasure.
Colton, Conner, Natalie, Lexi, Paityn, Lauren, Paige (friend), Me
Natalie's smile was infectious. She could brighten anybody's day with that smile. She was also a phenomenal basketball player - she holds the record at Roswell High School for most consecutive starts with 111 games. She decided to leave basketball behind after high school and focus on her education, which she was getting at the University of Alabama in Tuscaloosa. She was such a huge fan of the Crimson Tide! So big that she just had to go down to the championship game in Miami, which took place on Monday, January 7, 2013. It was on their way back up to Tuscaloosa the next day that the horrific accident happened, the accident in which there were 40 people involved, and 39 people walked away without a scratch.
It is still so surreal. Natalie's funeral in Roswell was this past Friday (January 18th) - one week after she passed away from injuries sustained in the crash. It was an absolutely beautiful service. My step-mom Heather delivered her eulogy and did a wonderful job. Natalie's brother Nathan and sister Lauren read some verses, and her sisters Lexi and Erica presented the gifts. The church was jam packed with people who knew and loved Natalie. We were humbled when Janet (Nat's mom) asked us to sit with the family. Her funeral helped me in the sense that I know she is still around us, though it may not be physically. She is still watching over us, smiling down upon us, and probably even shooting hoops with Jesus!
After her funeral, we spent the rest of the day and most of the night at Natalie's house, with her family and closest friends, reminiscing and celebrating her life. We all share in our loss, so being together helped us all. I think about her beautiful send off and the time I spent with her family this past week, and I feel okay. I have our memories together to comfort me and make me laugh. It still hits me in waves, though - I will suddenly have a thought about something that Natalie will never get to experience, and I get sad. I remember that God has His plan for everything and everyone, but it still just doesn't seem fair.
A 14'' x 17'' charcoal drawing I did of Natalie for her parents, who cried when I gave it to them and told me they'd cherish it forever - in fact, Janet said she was going to bring it with her to Oklahoma for her funeral there. It makes me happy to know that they really love it, and that they know how much I love them.
So, while Natalie may just be the girl that was killed in the car accident with the Alabama cheerleaders to some, to those of us who knew her, she was much more. She was a daughter. She was a sister. She was a friend. Twenty years young. I am so glad to have been as close to her as I was in the fifteen years I knew her, and while I am still extremely distraught that she is no longer with us here on Earth, I am grateful that I have such a beautiful angel watching over me!
I love you so much Natalie!! "Until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of His hand."
